2020 Goals, Not Deadlines

Every year, literally, every year… you hear the same phrase, “New Year, New Me!” Everyone gets into a hype of, “I’m going to workout more”,  “I’m going to eat healthier”, “I’m going to do X or Y” and so on…and honestly… it’s exhausting to listen too, much less read. I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again… I am not one of those people.

I think it’s great that every year a person wants to set goals for themselves, I’ve done it. Unsuccessfully. But I’ve attempted at least.  However, that is where I think the issue lies for most. We set goals that are unrealistic, we put too much pressure upon ourselves to hit these goals/expectations and either we fail miserably or we get to them (too fast) and then fall right back into our old habits. — That’s why the gym is overly packed January & February… then comes March and the amount of people have diminished significantly.

Then there are those that set goals and actually reach them. Because they’re going about it the right way.  How so? Well, setting goals, doesn’t mean setting a deadline.

For example, if you’re out of shape and want to start working out again. Well, it didn’t take you a month to get out of shape… and it’s not going to take you a month to get back into it either.  Or, if you are an unhealthy eater, those habits weren’t created overnight… and they certainly won’t be fixed overnight.

We give ourselves these unrealistic deadlines, fail at meeting them, fall back into our old habits and then feel defeated or even depressed. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY Y’ALL!!!

We all do it. Regardless of the goals we set for ourselves, everyone fails at something.

So this year,  I’ve decided to make a goals of things I should STOP doing, instead of things I should start doing.

Have you ever thought about that? Maybe this will be harder to do than I think. But, with a newborn on the way, what better time to STOP doing the things that drive me crazy & I’m sure my husband.. and by doing so, will in turn make me a better mommy, wife, sister, daughter, friend… and just a better person in the long run.

These are the 5 things that I am going to STOP doing:

  1. I am going to STOP bending over backwards for people who don’t think twice about bending for me.
    • Simply put. Simply understood.
  2. I am going to STOP looking at my phone before bedtime.
    • I will read on my phone, scroll through Instagram for an ungodly amount of time, read others blog posts, text with my family & mommy friends & honestly, I need to stop. That is the time I should be spending with my husband.
  3. I am going to STOP saying “Yes” to every event, party, outing.
    • Robin Arzon said it best, “If it doesn’t raise my vibration or bank account, the answer is “no, thank you.” If the event doesn’t excite you or more so, the people involved, politely decline.
    • Because IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO.
  4. I am going to STOP buying books & not read them.
    • I currently have 6 that are brand new on my nightstand… & I have not even opened the covers. I did finish one the other night & y’all it felt SO GOOD! So here’s to a year of more reading, less scrolling.
  5. I am going to STOP with the negativity.
    • I am SO bad at being the first to turn a compliment into a negative reasoning. Someone could say, “I like your hair!” & I would respond with, “It’s so dirty.” Nuh Uh, no more of that. Self negativity only creates bad thoughts, bad juju & I’m done with it.
    • One of my best friends recently explained karma in her culture, she’s Indian. She said that they believe that whatever you put out into this world, you will receive back. Meaning, if you put good out into the world daily, you’re going to receive good & vice versa… you put bad out into the world, you receive the bad. It’s your own Karma.

I’m sure there are more (actually, I know there are) but these are the five that stick out to me the most. Instead of trying to obtain a new habit, I’m going to stop the bad ones that I have.

I’m also not putting a deadline to this, if I fail a couple of times, that doesn’t mean I need to quit & just keep the bad habit. Same goes for those of you that are setting goals for new habits to achieve, just because you missed a workout, ate three donuts, said a bad word, doesn’t mean you’ve failed and should quit.

It means you’re human. It means, start over tomorrow.

Remember why you started in the first place, what made you decide to set these new habits for yourself or in my case, get rid of.

Let 2020 be a year of success of setting goals & not ones tagged with a deadline.

WAIT, I will say, one goal of mine for 2020 was to purchase new panties. I achieved that goal. So I’m pretty proud of myself for that one! 😉

~XO, Kate

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