Y’all, this week it has officially hit me that in a month (hopefully), our baby girl will be here! Emotions are running high & the thought of her being here before we know it has finally taken its toll.
I’ve started to get more organized, wash items that haven’t yet been, finish up thank you notes & of course, started packing my hospital bag. However, with all of that, normal daily tasks, work, the blog & Christmas coming up in less than 5 days… my emotions are hitting me like a.. well… wrecking ball.
I think I’ve cried more in the past 48 hours.. than my entire pregnancy. Honest.
I’ve hyperventilated, taken a nap in my closet because of feeling overwhelmed on where to put things, cried for no reason in Neimans… oh yeah… it’s been a total fun fest with me!
I know that everyone says, “pregnant women are more sensitive.” Well… I finally understand it. I could cry for just about any reason at this point. The fact that I need a mani, that my back hurts, that I decided this year we didn’t need a Christmas tree, that I haven’t eaten a snack yet today, that I have a million things on my to-do list that I’ll never get too & the list goes on.
Like is said in my recent post, “Every pregnancy is different.” Which is totally true, I’m sure some of you never cried or felt overwhelmed. However, today, I’ve realized that is just not going to be me.
To be honest, I LOVED every step of my pregnancy up until about a week ago, when the overwhelmed feelings of anxiety kicked in. I’ve certainly had my highs & of course, now my lows. I’m sure there will be plenty more of each.. but here are the ones that stand out the most right now.
The highs that I love:
- I love the kicks, I don’t care where I am, I will stop & feel my belly when Holland is kicking.
- I love the insane sense of smell! I love how I can instantly tell where food, wine, candles, shampoo & coffee smells are coming from & what I think they smell like.
- I love the bump… even when I feel like a whale.
- I love knowing just how amazing the female body is & what we are capable of!
- I love the fact that this little girl is already the light of my life & I cannot wait to meet her.
- I love imagining what she’s going to be like, who she’ll resemble more, what she’ll grow up to be, what kind of impact she’ll make in this world.
- I love applesauce, more so now than ever as a kid.
- I love when people ask genuine questions about being pregnant, not the “I’m only asking because I clearly can tell you’re pregnant.” type of questions. If you’ve never been pregnant…. here are some good examples of the non-genuine questions – AKA: the ones I loathe answering:
- “Are you nervous?”…. Hmm…. “well yes, the thought of pushing a sugar bag out of my body makes me a little uneasy.” DUH.
- “Are you ready?” ……Who is ever REALLY ready? Seriously.. who?!
- “How much weight have you gained?” ….SO NOT APPROPRIATE. If I want to disclose that, I will in my own time… but please, do not ask.
- “Do you think you’ll get an epidural?” …. TRICK QUESTION… either this person is about to ruin your day with their opinion or agree with your decision.
- The questions I really LOVE answering:
- “When are you due?” … surprisingly A LOT of people know someone that was born on or around Holland’s due date.
- “Girl or Boy?” … EKKK baby girl!
- “What’s her name?” …A lot of people either 1) give me a confused look, kinda like my husband did when he said, “Like the country?”… or 2) they love that its unique & rarely used.
- “What is your nursery theme?” ….this is always a fun topic.
- “How did you choose Holland Katherine?”
- “How did you find out?”
- “How did you tell your husband, family, friends, etc.?”
- I love that my family is ecstatic about a girl… when we already outnumber the boys.
I’m sure there are many others… but those are definitely my tops!
The lows that I loathe:
- I loathe the pinched nerve in my back that ruins my sleep cycles.
- I loathe this sound that I make when I can’t get comfortable. I’ve tried making a different sound… doesn’t work.
- I loathe the fact that I have cried over just about anything lately, seriously. ANYTHING.
- For ex: crying because I spilled water on my sleep shirt last night.
- I loathe that I can’t eat sushi for another however many weeks. IDK why.. but not eating sushi for 9 months is disappointing! Of course, not having wine is too.
- I loathe that working out is getting harder.
- I loathe that when sitting for awhile & then getting up to walk, my right leg will go numb.
- I loathe that I have anxiety over the littlest things, which then leads to crying:
- floor not being vacuumed;
- dishes in the sink;
- not having a place for something;
- not knowing what I did with something;
- why my doctor decided to schedule his own person surgery during my childs birth… yes that is real;
- oh, the list goes on…
- I loathe that I think some days I look like a huge whale.
- I loathe that my feet have started to hurt around 7pm…
- I loathe that after having Holland, my 9 months of thick hair will fall out….
- I VERY MUCH loathe that I wont have the excuse of, “I’m pregnant, that’s why.” haha
- I loathe that my husband might make me get rid of the Snoogle after Holland is born…. haha!
- seriously… it’s a game changer for sleep until you get a pinched nerve.
Y’all… after re-reading this… I sound like a huge whiney baby! But, these are the things that literally make me cry. I even cried typing half of this!! The good & the bad! Pathetic! Even I see it. However, better for you to know than not… right? It’s easy to say, “Oh, my pregnancy was easy, a blast, full of joy & laughter, no crazy hormones at all.” Anyone can say that. I won’t. There are things that I know will make me lose my mind (if they haven’t already) in the next month & for my lifetime.
These gems are what make it all worth it, right?! After typing all of this… I feel better. I probably don’t sound as appealing as a human being or potential parent. But, HEY! #ThisIsLifeWithKate
Do I feel ready? No. – Am I ready? No. -Will I be ready? No. -Would I change anything about these past 8 months? ABSOLUTELY NOT. – Would I do it all over again? ABSOLUTELY.
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