Our beautiful little blue-eyed beauty came into the world on February 1st, 2018
@ 8:21PM, @ 7lb 14oz & 20 3/4in of pure perfection.
Paul & I are so excited to share our birth story with you. After being able to share it with our extend family & close friends, we feel that it is finally time to share it with all of you. I hope I’ve captured the excitement, drama & feelings of the very moment for all of you to feel exactly what we felt.
As most of you know, Holland is our first born. Throughout our pregnancy with her, I never anticipated birth. I enjoyed every moment of her being in my belly, from finding out that we were expecting, to finding out she was a girl, watching my belly grow week by week, to her first kicks, hiccups & even the heartburn I occasionally had from eating tooooo many jalapenos or serrano peppers. But, as 40 weeks turned into 2 weeks… & then 2 days.. to 2 hours before we left for the hospital, the idea of giving birth never crossed my mind. Until, Paul & I were alone, in our hospital room watching “Just Go With It” to pass the time.
I obviously knew that I would have to go into labor & deliver Holland. But the ACTUAL idea of what was going to happen… well, again, NEVER crossed my mind. It all started to sink in that night… all the feels & all the thoughts started going through my mind like, “What if I can’t have her naturally?” “When do they call it for a C-section?” “What happens & when does/is my water supposed to break?” “What if I pass out?” “I’m such a tit when it comes to pain, what if I can’t do it? “Then what?!”
“WHY DID I NOT ASK ALL THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE I GOT HERE?!”
Yes, in that moment I started to panic. Because giving birth was happening the next day.
So, let’s backtrack a bit….
About a month before my due date (January 29th) my doctor that I had seen the ENTIRE time I was pregnant, dropped a bomb on me. He had torn his rotator cuff & needed surgery. So, he wouldn’t be able to lift anything for about two months. So in his words, he wouldn’t “be there for Holland’s birthday party.” This shook me, I had already felt comfortable with him & now I was being switched to another Doctor whom I did not know at all. Doesn’t seem like a big deal… but trust me, when you have this all “planned out”, it becomes a big deal.
So, about a week after that (since I was now getting checked weekly), I met with my “new” doctor. She was lovely, I liked her a lot! So, this was good! I was okay with having her deliver Holland.
Two weeks before my due date, my “new” doctor was booked, so I got to see my first doctor. He asked me if I wanted to schedule an inducement or go into labor naturally. I thought… “Well, naturally of course!” Until he said, “Okay, I’ll let you go two weeks over your due date, & if she hasn’t come, we’ll induce you.” — “Um, excuse me. Did you just say, two weeks? No, no… no thank you. – I would prefer not to have to wait that long.” I mean, I had already counted down from 40 weeks… why would I want to wait ANY longer to meet my little girl!?
So Paul and I decided to talk about it… & the week before I was due, we schedule an induced labor. I know what some of you may think, “What if she’s not ready?” “It can cause strain on her!” “You are selfish.” – Well, maybe so, but that was our decision.
Wednesday, January 31st, my one request before Paul & I headed to the hospital was that I wanted to go to Forty Five Ten’s T Room & have lunch & of course, get my latte! Which is clearly a favorite of mine if you watch my insta stories, you already know this!
After lunch, we headed to the hospital for our 5pm admission. Once admitted, we got into our room, met our night nurses (which we LOVED) changed into our PJ’s & shortly after, they had administered Cervidil (the drug to start induction, which has to stay in for 12 hours). After that, we talked through “all” the scenarios of what could happen, the good & the bad. We had a code word for if I felt overwhelmed, & a certain look for if I wasn’t okay with whatever the nurses or even doctor was saying/suggesting/doing. After talking it though, I was ready. Women for years & years before me have been delivering babies naturally, by c-section, induced, etc. & this was my chance to fall into one of those categories.
6 AM came VERY quickly… as my “new” doctor came in, she took out the Cervidil, & said, “Okay, you’re dilated to a 1.” — “……a 1? a whole number! Woo!” I was pretty excited until I noticed her facial expression of, “that’s really not that great.” – haha.. I did not care, I knew that the process had started & I was overjoyed! They then administered my Epidural & hooked me up with a Petocin drip.
Around 8 my family showed up, which was great – it took my mind off of, well, birth. My sisters kids got to open their gifts that I had made for them too! Which was fun to watch & it gave them something to do other than stare at me. haha
Time had passed & my doctor decided to check me again, & this time I really thought I was about a 3. As she was doing so, I heard this “plop.” Yes, that’s right… a “plop.” I looked at my doctor with this “wtf” face & about the same time she said, “Oops! I just broke your water.” Eh-hem… with her finger. – “I’m sorry… what?!” – Yep, that happened & we all had a good laugh! Unfortunately, I was still a 1. However, my doctor gave me a half to make me feel better. So lets say, 11:30, I was at a 1.5 dilated. She then threw in another lovely surprise by telling me that she was ending her day at 4pm so if I didn’t deliver by then, the on call doctor would be with me.
…………………………………………………………………..Did she seriously just say that… out loud.
Yes, yes she did. In that moment I was very disappointed. Once again, I was being passed off to someone I did not know. Only this time, there would be no introduction, it would just be go time. So, I had to suck it up & pretend in that moment I was okay with it. So, I said, “Okay, that’s fine!”
With me sitting at a 1.5 & with the lovely news our doctor just broke to me, my family thought that it would be best to leave this time & go to lunch. So, Paul & I decided, while it was quiet & before things started to happen we would take a nap. But before we did, we talked about what just happened. Why didn’t our “new” doctor tell us this before? She told us the day we chose be induced that she induced Monday – Wednesday & worked through Friday. So WHY would she be leaving at 4pm?! After talking… (crying for me) Paul reminded me of the movie we watched the night before… & said, “Babe, just go with it.” “There is nothing we can do about it now, so let’s just go with it.”
We napped for a about an hour, & woke up when my nurse came back in to check on me. As she was checking my vitals, etc. I told her that I was really cold, & showed her my hands. They were shaking as if I were in -4 degree weather.
Little did I know this was a clear sign….
The nurse looked at me & then at Paul & said, “I’m going to go ahead & check you to see if you’ve dilated any more.”
As that was happening, she looked at me & said, “Okay, you’re a 10!” “We’re going to sit you up for an hour & then we’ll start pushing.”
“I’M A WHAT?!?!” “DID YOU JUST SAY A 10?!?” “WE START PUSHING? PUSHING WHEN?!”- insert happy, ugly cry face here. Y’all… I went from a 1.5 to 10 in just a little over an hour. We were NOT expecting that AT ALL!!! We were in complete shock!
When my family got back from lunch, I had them all come in & guess what number I was at, trying to hide the pure excitement from them. They all knew before leaving that I was a 1. So, they had to guess from 2 – 10. Watch the video.. it’s priceless.
This video I will cherish forever. It was such an exciting moment for our family.
I’m at a 10!!!!
Ayden massaging my feet, which was the sweetest thing!
Side note: my nurses were THE BOMB! I could not have hand picked them better! They made the entire process easy because of their kindness, knowledge & most importantly their jokes.
Anyway, about 30 minutes in to me sitting up, I started to feel nauseous, so they hooked me up with O2. Paul thought it was more for him though…
After an hour, my doctor comes back in & says, “We’re going to start pushing, but again, I’ll have to leave soon & the on call doctor will be in right after.”
My family leaves, all but Paul (obviously) & my sister, who took all the photos, supported, laughed, cried & pushed me through every step of the way.
5 pm comes around & my nurse starts to dial in my Petocin drip so that my contractions are evenly spaced & ready for pushing.
5:30 pm comes around & I meet my new doctor.
The first thing she says is, “There’s another couple down the hall that is within the same time frame as you. Let’s see who goes first.” I immediately looked at Paul & said, “US! WE ARE! WE ARE GOING FIRST!!”
6:00 pm comes around & I’m still pushing. My doctor comes in & says to the nurse, “Okay, I’m going to go to dinner. Let me know if something changes.”
Paul at this point has decided he does not like her. In his defense, as he says, “I CAN SEE BABIES HEAD!” “Why is she leaving?! Isn’t it go time?!” — Just to be clear… It was not go time. She had enough time to go to dinner… twice, before it was actual “go time.”
As I have lost track of time by now, my nurses have been helping me push for a while. Then our doctor comes back in, scrubs up & says to me in a very loud & strong voice, “You’re not pushing hard enough. You need to do more.”
…………………………………………………………………..WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!
Y’all… I could have reached down & popped her a nice one on the mouth & said, “No ma’am!” But, once she started to instruct me on what I needed to do. Which I will repeat what she said (PSA IT’S NOT LOVELY)…
“Act like you’re trying to take a poop.”
WHAT?! I can barely feel my bottom half, what in the world do you mean?! – I looked at my sister in that moment & she just shook her head… like “JUST DO IT!”
I quickly realized… she was right. Both of them. I was not pushing hard enough & if I closed my eyes & pretended like I was “pooping” & certain muscles flexed in my stomach – she would say, “You’re doing great! Keep doing that!” So, I started staring at my stomach & when I could get those certain muscles to flex, I knew I was pushing hard enough.
Now remember how she mentioned the couple down the hall? She was going in between both of us. So, when she left, I realized… I NEEDED her. I needed her to come back & yell at me. Because the moment she left, I could feel myself not pushing as hard with the nurses help & it scared me. It scared me to think that I wasn’t getting Holland out fast enough.
So, when she came back in, I started crying, crying so hard & somehow managed to get out, “I need you to stay! I need you to yell at me!” And that’s exactly what she did. She stay & yelled & coached me through it all.
My doctor, Paul, my nurses & my sister, all coaching, smiling, laughing & rooting us on. For the record, after all said & done, we LOVED our doctor. She was EXACTLY what I needed & only God could have planned that. I am so very thankful for her & her yelling at me.
#RelivingIt #CryingAllOver #SoEmotional #SeriouslyCantStopCrying
Finally, at 8:21 pm, our little angel was welcomed into this world & the tears of joy streamed all of our faces as I did immediate skin on skin, delayed cord cutting & well, the rest is history…
This was the first time we saw her. Go ahead, you can cry too… because I am right now!
After our skin on skin & delayed cord cutting.. they cleaned her off & handed her back to me.
Our first family photo.
This photo of Paul melts my heart to pieces… this is him staring down @ Holland as she’s getting weighed, measured, etc.
Our little “pumpkin tot”, “monkey pig”, “baby girl” as we call her.
** Pumpkin tot – Not sure where that came from, but that is what I call her.
** Monkey pig – Paul calls her this (which I’m sure she will appreciate when she’s older… #Not) because her limbs are SO long & she snorts like a little piglet when shes hungry.
**Baby girl – That’s a little obvious.
& that’s our story… of course there are so many other little details that I could have shared but these are the big ones that I felt were most important & raw for us. We LOVE all of you & are SO thankful to those of you that follow & read along.
P.S. – To those of you who have already side messaged me regarding pain… well, here is the truth. Because I chose to have the Epidural, my pain level was about the equivalent of light menstrual cramps. I have a very small pain tolerance & usually pass out when something hurts too bad. Because of that, I did not want to risk that during labor & something go wrong that I could have prevented. So, would I do it again? Yes. A hundred times over, yes. Now, I know some of you are against this decision & that is absolutely okay! But, just know, everyone is different, every pregnancy is different & that is just that.